The Wedding Guestlist – how to avoid the drama!

Drawing up your wedding guest list may seem easy at first – what could be so hard about writing a list of people you want to celebrate with? Unfortunately, it’s much harder than you think and is renowned for causing wedding related arguments. We’ve put together a few suggestions to help make the process a little smoother.

1. Don’t forget you’re a team

You & your partner have just committed to a lifetime together, & this is the first challenge to nail together. Remind yourselves there are no right & wrong answers here.

2. Keep it private at first

Every family member will have an opinion on your guest list. Its good to put some boundaries in place at first so that you are your family aren’t caught off guard & end up committing to something you didn’t mean too. When you have a good sense of understanding of how you both want your guest list to work, then involve the family.

3. Create an A, B & even a C list

We know it sounds horrible to put your family & friends on different lists, but lets face it this is the only practical approach! Divide your guests into A – the must have, B – you’d love to have & C – it would be nice if your budget/venue size allows it.

Unfortunately, you will have to draw the line somewhere, but at least you can work your way from A-C with this system. Sometimes you might even end up with a D list – the people you feel you should invite! Leave these to the end & be brutal – it is your wedding after all.

4. Create some rules

As a couple set yourself some rules & stick to them. If you haven’t seen them in 5 years – leave them off. If you haven’t heard of them before but now they’are your Mum’s best friend – leave them off. It’s okay for your couple to have a few non-negotiables!

5. Invite the plus ones

On the whole here the general etiquette is to invite anyone who is married, engaged or in a long term relationship. Don’t feel bad about popping the 3-week girlfriends on the D list.

6. Make a decision about children

Make this decision early in the process & be aware that there will most likely be a variety of reactions to it. Remind yourself it is your decision to make. Having or not having children at your event will dramatically change the feel of it so you need to decide which way you want to go. You could also end up with another 30 seats filled if some people have large families. Not having children ourselves, and infact not having many children in the family we decided to go for an adult only affair.

We heard everything from our friends from ‘woo hoo I can’t wait’ to ‘sorry we can’t come’, but that was then their decision to make. There is one small exception here & its that newborn or breastfeeding babies should always be invited – thankfully they sleep most of the time!

7. Keep it organized

Using an online RSVP tool from the outset can really help you keep on top of your guest list & keep organized. For you OCD types out there you can even have all of your guests’ dietary requirements and responses in one Excel or Google sheet. Check out of blog post about the best online tools & apps to help you plan your wedding.